


I’ll Love You Forever

by Chicken_asmr



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Universe, Declarations Of Love, Falling In Love, Feelings, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, My First AO3 Post, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:20:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27726735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chicken_asmr/pseuds/Chicken_asmr
Summary: Since before he could remember, illumi had been molded into becoming his parent's perfect killing machine. through the torture, his parents always reinforced the idea that "Family before anything, even before his own life." So why was he here? Why did he feel so comfortable in the arms of a murderer?
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 7
Kudos: 125





	I’ll Love You Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is my first fanfic ever so please give me comments and any constructive criticism. 
> 
> Like many others in quarantine, I got back into anime and gave Hunter x Hunter a chance. Best decision of my life! I fell in love with the characters Illumi and Hisoka and I thought they looked great together. in a few short days I blew through all the pages for this ship on ao3 and decided to give it a go.
> 
> So enjoy! I hope I did well for my first try also I used my AP Lit coursework to put symbols into this work so look out for that :)
> 
> ****heads up I got this idea specifically after watching a TikTok using this specific audio and I just went crazy for it****
> 
> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJCCmK9b/

A deep feeling of shame was growing in the pit of Illumi’s stomach. Ever since he was a child, his parents had drilled into him the idea that family is all that matters. Regardless of whatever horrific torture he was forced to endure, he had always put his family first. So what was he doing here? When did he stray from his beliefs? Was it when he saw Killua be happy with someone outside the family? Or was it when the bright-haired magician walked into his life many years ago?

Regardless of the answer, here he was in Eastern Padokea, far from the Zoldyck mansion. More specifically, on Hisoka’s floor in Heaven’s arena. Illumi had been on a mission and decided to visit Hisoka despite his mind screaming at him to stop. Whenever he visited the magician they would end up together in ways even Illumi could not write off as a business. He remembers telling his beloved younger brother “Assassins don’t need friends” So again, what was he doing here?

Tonight Illumi and Hisoka lay together on Hisoka’s bed, both staring out of his large floor-to-ceiling windows in comfortable silence. From that height, they could see the decaying trees that lined the streets as the temperature dropped. The dull grey night sky which threatened to drizzle shrouded the city in despair. However, the sorrowful weather could not penetrate the walls of Hisoka’s brightly colored home.

Inside, Illumi felt nothing but comfort. He had always felt an odd feeling of comfort around Hisoka. Anyone who heard him would gawk at the idea of letting one’s guard down anywhere near the infamous floor master and if his parents knew of his true feelings he’d be dragged back to the mansion and tortured within an inch of his life. That’s why their “relationship” had always been hidden from the public. But laying here with Hisoka made him forget about it all. Being with him in any capacity made him feel complete and that feeling is what made his head swirl with sadness with the realization that there would always be obstacles that would keep them from each other. 

Next to him, Hisoka was in a calm state most people wouldn’t ever see him in, damp red hair hanging in front of his forehead, he almost looked like a normal human. He was going on and on about his recent fights as well as what color he’d like to dye his hair next but he would be soon interrupted by a sudden declaration.

“I’ll love you forever, Hisoka,” said Illumi, refusing to meet his eyes in favor of staring out the window with a blank face. But no matter how stoic he trained his face to be, the sadness in his eyes was as clear as day.

”You will?” Said Hisoka, unable to keep the surprised but hopeful tone out of his voice. 

”Yes… that’s the problem…” Illumi turns his head further so the magician wouldn’t be able to notice the crack in his usual mask.

Illumi knew that at the start of their “relationship” that it may never develop into anything more serious even if they both wanted to and yes, they both want it to. Illumi tells himself that if he knew how hard it would be to leave the murderer he would have never started this affair but he knows he’d do it all over again if he got the chance.

If Killua never returned home it would be his job to produce an heir and carry on the Zoldyck name. And even if Killua returned, Illumi knew how much his parents hated the murderous clown so he already knew they would never accept their union. They would much rather find him a wealthy assassin wife to expand the Zoldyck’s hold on the assassination market.

Sensing Illumis’s sour mood, Hisoka didn’t pressure Illumi into facing him but he did pull him into an embrace so that Illumi’s back was pressed against his front. Hisoka wasn’t an idiot. He knew very well that Illumi’s family hung over their heads like a lion ready to pounce. It made their odds of making it very slim.

Not knowing what to say after the mood had dampened so quickly, Hisoka kissed the back of Illumis’s head, hoping that would be enough to convey the love he felt. Luckily Illumi understood, but that only added to his turmoil.

After some time it was Hisoka who broke the silence. “We could always kill your parents, y’know?” He expected Illumi’s hair to flare with blood-lust but he was met with silence. Suddenly, Illumi shifted to face Hisoka, bright yellow staring into his deep black void. After some contemplation, Illumi hugged Hisoka and moved closer. 

“That would be a sight wouldn’t it?” 

“Yes”

The silence hung heavy in the air for a while but this time it was Illumi who broke it. With wide eyes brimming with tears, threatening to ruin the work his parents put in to make him into an emotionless killer, Illumi began,

“Will you promise to stay by my side, even until the end, no matter what we face? Even if it’s a lie, promise me” 

As Hisoka responded his hands moved from cupping Illumi’s cheek to tucking his silky black hair behind his ear. Suddenly, the magician pulled a red rose from behind Illumi’s ear. “Tadah!...No need to lie, my dear Illumi, I’ll love you forever too” he gently placed the flower in Illumi’s hand, pricking both their hands on the thorns, but that pain was insignificant to them.

There was nothing else they could say to further convey their feelings towards one another. They fell asleep in each other’s arms, in their own bubble, away from the prying eyes of abusive parents or the violence-filled floors of the arena. 

~~~~~~~~

Several hours later, the apartment was illuminated by the promise of dawn. The sky was a beautiful marigold scattered with dark clouds. Illumi, who had trained to thrive on as little sleep as possible, was already awake, having moved to the couch, and looking out the window. His eyes were trained on a flock of bluebirds passing until he heard Hisoka begin to stir.

Wordlessly, Hisoka joined him on the couch. Illumi let his head rest on Hisoka’s shoulder and they both cherished the feeling of being able to stay close until Illumi had to go home to his prison. Although the separation was undesirable, they knew they’d see each other soon. They both knew they wouldn’t let go of the other so easily.

**Author's Note:**

> So... what do you guys think? I know it's small compared to other works but I hope it was at least readable so please give me comments down below, until next time :)


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